The Paradox of Small Joys
- Nick George, CFP®, ChFC®, CLU®
- Sep 29
- 5 min read
Have you ever had your whole mood lifted by something small? A dog's tail wagging. The smell of rain after a hot day. A throw that lands clean in the laundry basket.
There's a strange tension here. Part of us just enjoys it for what it is. Another part wonders if it's almost... embarrassing. Is my life really so small that this is what makes my day?
That's the paradox. We sometimes feel a quiet shame about delighting in the little things, as though joy should be reserved for the "big" moments - the promotion, the wedding, the vacation. Something we can only claim once we earn it. Those get logged in memory. But a breeze on your skin, a stranger's smile, a good cup of coffee? Nah...too small to count.
What's odd is that when you zoom out, life is stitched together almost entirely by moments like these. Invisible threads. The big events matter, of course, but they're rare. Maybe once or twice a year? If that.
If joy only counts when it's tied to scale, we risk overlooking the very fabric life is made of (not to sound dramatic..haha).
Accounting for Joy
We can be clumsy accountants of our own happiness. The debits show up instantly: traffic that adds seven minutes, slow Wi-Fi, a long line at the coffee shop. But the credits are few and far between. Some of us hold them to an impossible standard. Unless it’s a major deposit...like a milestone, or breakthrough... it barely registers.
Which is... quite silly, isn’t it? The smallest annoyances count against us without hesitation, while the smallest joys we dismiss as trivial. No wonder the ledger feels unbalanced.
Some of this could be cultural. Social media trains us to showcase only the “highlight reel.” Success is photographed, achievements are posted. Small delights don’t trend. Maybe that’s because recognition, in a tribal sense, has always come from what looks impressive. We want to be respected…and valued.
Anyways...is it even possible for a laugh overheard, a favorite song on shuffle, a crisp fall morning walk…to carry as much weight as the setbacks already do?
Small Pleasures Aren't...Small
There’s a concept in psychology called savoring...the act of lingering in a positive moment. But you don’t need to know the word to know the experience. It’s the pause after a sip of coffee where you let yourself actually taste it. It’s holding your dog’s gaze for a beat longer instead of rushing on (dogs are the best).
I like to think of it as a muscle. The more you notice, the stronger your capacity to notice becomes. Small joys are practice reps. Each one expands your range of awareness, making it easier to catch joy the next time it passes through.
Joy shows up in the present, not in the future...right?
A life that only counts joy when the extraordinary happens is fragile. It depends on circumstances lining up just right. If your happiness relies on grand achievements, then you’re always one canceled event or one missed milestone away from emptiness.
Milestones and achievements should absolutely be celebrated. The point is to consider the freedom of not feeling shame when smaller joys arrive first. Consider the steadiness that comes when the big things are no longer the sole gatekeepers of your well-being.
Our elders often remind us of this near the end of their lives...they talk less about promotions and more about evenings on the porch, meals with friends, simple laughter. It’s easier to notice in hindsight - but harder to live by in real time.
It’s Always About Balance (Surprise, Surprise..)
This tension - between striving for more and receiving what’s here - isn’t new. Ancient traditions spoke about it long before modern psychology. Yin and yang, effort and ease, the sun at noon and the moon at night. Life really is a delicate dance across many aspects.
We live in a culture where we feel like we have to hustle... to push, to fill every hour. However, we might be less practiced at the other side: noticing, savoring, receiving. Without it, we tilt off balance.
I wonder if balance is less about splitting your time evenly between striving and rest...and more about seeing the moments we label as “empty” ...aren’t empty at all. We treat boredom as something to be escaped, silence as something to be filled, and stillness as unproductive space.
When we rush to occupy every spare minute, sure, time goes faster, but it's flattened. Stripped of the textures that make life feel full. It’s something we just have to continue to remind ourselves. It’s hard.
Try this with me: tomorrow morning, ask yourself...
"What's the smallest thing that could make my day today?"
That's it...just that question. Maybe it's a good stretch, maybe it's your child running into your arms...it can be anything. Then, as the day unfolds, let it count. Add it to the ledger.
I think this quote by Annie Dillard puts a bow on it:
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives"
Have an awesome week,
Nick
It’s easy to feel stuck with money. It's harder to have clarity and a plan you trust. If that feels like something you've been missing, let's talk about it.
Nick George CFP®, ChFC®, CLU®
Founder | CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® Practitioner
ClearMind Capital
The information presented in this article is for informational purposes and should not be intended as tax, accounting or legal advice, nor is it an offer or solicitation to buy or sell, or as an endorsement of any company, security, fund, or other offering. Please consult your legal, tax, or accounting professional regarding your specific situation. Investments involve risk and have the potential for complete loss. It should not be assumed that any recommendations made will necessarily be profitable.
The opinions expressed in any commentary posted on this site are solely those of the individual author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of ClearMind Capital, LLC. These opinions are based on information available at the time of posting and are subject to change without notice. ClearMind Capital, LLC, does not commit to updating any posted positions or commentary to reflect subsequent developments. While the information and reasoning used to form these opinions are believed to be from reliable sources, ClearMind Capital, LLC, does not verify this information, and no guarantee is provided regarding its accuracy, completeness, or validity. ClearMind Capital, LLC, disclaims any and all liability for actions taken or not taken based on the content of this site. No warranty, express or implied, is given in connection with the content provided.
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Center for Financial Planning, Inc. owns and licenses the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER®, and CFP® (with plaque design) in the United States to Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc., which authorizes individuals who successfully complete the organization’s initial and ongoing certification requirements to use the certification marks.
Comments